What could it be? Who is calling? It is Midnight. I stumble across the carpet and I grab the phone and slide the bar across to answer it. "HELLO!" I say quickly...
"Erin!!!" My mother sounded anxious...."Molly won't talk! She can't talk..."
My heart pounding, trying to find the words..."What do you mean?!?! Why isn't she talking?"
"I don't know..." I hear a giggle. Not funny. It was a creepy sounding giggle. Megan is yelling in the background, "MOLLY! MOLLY!" That giggle sound was Molly uttering a sound. "Her hand is twisted. Her face is half up half down. She is just starring straight. She won't talk. Just giggles. What do we do, Erin?"
I started to sink fast, heart racing, my eyes wide open with a desire to climb through that phone and hold my baby. Tell her it is okay, but I was thousands of miles away, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Even if I got on a plane that second, it would be 15 hours until I would be home. As my heart was being squeezed, I cried out, "Let me talk to her!!!" They started to scramble around and then I heard her utter that crazy giggle. It was now louder. I heard her say something. "MINEEEYYYY" It did not make sense at all! I leaned close to the phone as if closer to her, and I calmly said, "Molly. This is mom! I am here! I love you! Talk to me!" I started to get frantic. No response. "MOLLLLLLLYYYYY!!!!! Answer me! Can you hear me????!" Still no response.
My mother, who flew to Tennessee to care for our children while we went on our very first trip far away alone, was a nurse. She knows what to do in emergency situations, yet she said after grabbing the phone back to place on her ear, "Erin!" I quickly ask, "What is her blood sugar???!" She returns, "The meter is wrong. It says 380 then 200. Then it will say 80, then back to 350. I have no idea what her blood sugar is! I don't know what to do!!!!! What do I do, ERIN????!!!!!" I look over to my husband who is trying to calm everyone down. He is trying to tell me something. I can't hear him. It all feels like a dream and he is just not making sense either. No one is making sense. He is asking me and I am trying my hardest to answer him. I tell him a list of numbers that does not make sense to him either.
"Call 911, NOW!" I yell into the phone. "NOW!" I hang up the phone. I run to the bathroom, looking down on the marble floors and I realize there is NOTHING, NOTHING I can do to help. I am helpless. I cry. The tears roll down my face and I don't want to call them because I don't want to interrupt her only line of help in this world, in this natural world. I cry out to the only lifeline I know. I cry out to God!!! I beg for her life. I beg for his will. I beg that I can accept that will whatever it may be. I pray for the ambulance to get there, fast. "Please, God be with my daughter. Get her the help she needs!" I go to my husband arms. He starts to pray out loud. We both feel helpless. So much in need of mercy. Of a miracle. Our daughter's life hanging there in balance.
You put your faith on that little machine. It is supposed to tell you what your blood sugar is. We never thought that could happen. Why? I can't even imagine how at this point. Usually if her sugars go low, we give her a snack and she snaps out of it. BUT, Listen, listen close...if that meter says 380, you have to give her a shot of insulin. WHAT. IF. IT. IS. WRONG? What if, that day before, I imagine, it was wrong, what if it said 380 and she was really 80-100 which is normal? She is a good girl. A responsible girl. And my mom told me her numbers were all wacky and we chalked it off as her body fighting a cold. We never thought this was possible. And then when you give a shot of this insulin when it is not needed. Hello! That is deadly! It is a miracle she is alive.
I get on my laptop. I start begging others to also pray! It is 5:30 am on the mainland. Lots of prayer is going up. People from all over the world, praying, begging God with me! A peace like a river washed over me. She was in God's hands now!
The phone rings, "Erin! How far away is the ambulance? Will it be a long time?" I said, "I don't know! I can't tell where they come out of...I never called 911. We never had this happen!" My mother returns, "You live way out in the middle of no where! That is not good!" Just as she said that, a vehicle drove into the gravel round drive. Two ladies come running for the door and they let them in. They rush over to my listless daughter. I can hear them asking questions to Molly. No answer. My mom is telling them the story about he meter. They grab a meter and start testing. It is low! Just as we thought, but could not be sure with that broken meter.
They are given her something to try to get her sugar up as the ambulance arrives. She is put into the ambulance and brought to the nearest ER where they can't help her, she is still not responding correctly. She is now conscious yet does not know simple answer to questions. They worry and do a CAT scan. Then they put her back into the ambulance and ship her down to the largest hospital, in Nashville. There they have diabetes specialists and neurologists to try to get to the bottom of this seizure.
"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."
Here is the problem...Molly has a problem sensing her blood sugars when they drop or sky rocket. I often times will see her just acting tired and ask her to test. Her sugar will be below 60! And she never felt it. The damage was already done to her brain. Over time this can be very serious. It is called Hypoglycemic Unawareness. Most diabetics can tell when they are dropping and they are able to check and correct. Molly can't. I can't tell either. That is a very serious issue!
So now what?!
We are on a waiting list for a service dog for our daughter. Do you think I will ever trust in those little machines again? NOPE! It is not out of a lack of faith in God. It is out of prayer and using wisdom that we came to this decision together as an entire family. The dogs are very very expensive ($15,000) and let me tell you why...The Diabetic Alert dogs are specifically trained for 8 months continually to have the sole purpose of alerting people when there is a sudden change in the glucose levels, whether it be going in a direction that is high or low.
Every time a diabetic goes low, it damages the brain. And the damages are long lasting. It can be life threatening if not treated, like in Molly's recent situation. If the sugars are too high, it causes damage to her vital organs. It is like shards of glass running through her blood stream, cutting everything in its path. The dog actually alerts the person before it gets into a dangerous level. Alerting them before there is any sort of damage to their body!
For example. If my daughter went to bed at 100 and it started to slowly go down, she would not know. I would not be able to hear it going too low or see any difference on her face. BUT, the alert dog would SMELL this change already at 80 which is still in the safe zone. The dog is trained to hop up on the bed and jostle her awake, bark, move her around until she wakes up and then it will give her her tester unit to check, but she already knows it is low. If the meter is broken, she still knows that the dog is accurate with its nose. The dog will go to the kitchen and will fetch her something to treat the low. If she would not wake, it will go to the next person and alert them. If no one would be around, the dog is trained to call 911 with a special button.
My daughter is 16 years old this week and with that age comes the need for some independence. How could I allow her to say, drive in a car alone to run a errand, or go to a job, when she can't sense a low coming on? She could be driving down the road, get confused, lost, or drift off the road. With the dog being with her at all times, she will know that she is dropping sugar levels, and she can pull over, check, because that dog will not leave her alone until she does. She can treat the low, get back on the road and keep going. All is safe!
If she would get married down the road when she is older, Lord willing, this would also be vital. What happens when her husband would leave for work? If the dog is there, she can feel safe that the dog will help her stay in a safe zone for her sugars.
This is not a want, it is a NEED, so I am praying that the Lord will provide as he always has in the past. I started a fund raiser to raise the money needed to get this dog soon. The expense is beyond our means. As it stands right now, neither her nor I get much sleep these days. We are up testing and using different meters, just because at times because of her better health, the need of insulin goes down, but the delicate balance of knowing how much to give and not to give becomes an increasing risk.
If you feel led to either pray or to contribute, I am leaving this link for you here. I truly appreciate the love of my family of God. Many hands make light work, is the old saying, yet rings true. Every ounce of your gift of prayer, time, or money will be felt by our family. We can't thank you enough. May God bless you!