They all beg for our Attention and to everything we do we want to do wholeheartedly as unto the Lord. I do not know about you, but I have a hard time not giving each thing I have 100% of myself. When I do that, some things suffer. And when it is the most important things, like family, then those are the times we need to step aside, figure out what it is we need to do, refocus, and regroup. We can still do other things, but we have to be careful not to set other things aside. And by saying this, I am in no wise trying to tell others what to do. I am just sharing my heart.
I was just in fellowship with some amazing people yesterday, my new friends the Campbells, from Above Rubies ministry. Colin shared how Mothers are so important. He shared how much children were created to NEED mothers. There is nothing else in the world that NEEDs a mother except children. I thought that was a very interesting thing even though I knew that, I never thought of it the way he had explained it. Fit anything in the blank.... Ministry, friends, business, career, hobbies, and none of them by nature NEED mothers. The only thing is children. Children are the only things that were created by God to NEED mothers. With all the wonderful things women can do, everything we can do, so many endless talents and care, we can find that we are able to excel and shine. We can build buildings, we can feed thousands, we can paint the most glorious paintings, sing the most beautiful songs in front of thousands, write the most beautiful books that will help millions of people, and we can really and truly be important and gain the trust and appreciation of large amounts of people these days. With the internet, we can be online in an instant and instantly be friends with people all over the world to encourage and uplift. Our sphere of friends is no longer next door or just in our home, it is virtually EVERYWHERE.
And with all that we can do and all that we do that is good, we become a blessing to many more people than we can count. That is a good thing! Do not misunderstand me when I say this. But do people really know us? How transparent are we? We can be online and we can pretend that we are what ever we want others to see us as. Because it is virtual, we can be virtually happy even when we are hurting or confused. We can also air the dirty laundry, complain and influence many that way in a bad way, too. Another sister in Christ told me that she has many talents and she could have used all those talents to do greater things than anyone could imagine but she wasted her talents to be a humble homemaker and mother. The thing is, she did not say this to say she was living in some state of regret. She was so thankful that she gave her most to the calling that God gave to her the most. That was her motherhood!
I have not been on the blog for a very good reason… time. And time is precious. It is fleeting. When you have a string of teenagers, you see time like an hourglass and it just feels like it slips through your fingers faster and faster. I tell you the truth, when your children are little, time seems to stand still for some reason.
If we are not present to be there to meet the teenagers needs, they meet their needs with independent force. They make their own meals, they do their own laundry, they are able to learn independently with schooling, they find their own answers to all their many questions and life seems for them an open book to write. No longer are we writing our stories together, they are starting to write their own. They start to have their own vision for life and it is good. They see what they want and what they do not want for their future. They learn to be who God created them to be.
I remember when things started to change and my little children were now growing up and it was very hard for me. They no longer fight to help mix the batter or who gets to use my mop first to help clean. I remember when the children learned how to crack an egg and all the many eggshells we pulled out of the bowl, the mess, the chairs pulled up to the counter tops that had to be pushed back into place. Now they are taller than me and when I bake, I often bake alone.
It is not necessarily a bad thing, but about 8 months ago when Molly was rushed in an ambulance I was off chasing MY DREAMS. I was in Hawaii on a trip we earned, from a great company with products I completely feel changed my health in a miraculous way. But as with all things in life, we can become overzealous, we can set aside those things that are right in front of us to pursue the American Dream. I did. But the clock keeps ticking and kids keep growing up as they are designed to by God. After a year of really pursuing the dream to be free, I just have to be honest, I became lost in a rat race and I felt like that rat in a maze, searching for the prize but never finding it. The very rat race I strived so hard to escape years ago when we bought our first homestead. The mindset of never caring as much about fancy things and fancy cars, or hoards of material wealth. I never cared much for money but the dream of having freedom was over me like a trance.
I got so passionate about helping others that I often felt stressed and set my precious family aside. They never seemed to mind. They would keep themselves busy with other things. Good things, but they were essentially not needing me like they used to. You will always get it straight from me. From my heart because I am a very transparent person. I wont tell you what you want to hear. I won’t tell you what I want you to hear just to benefit me. I am not like that. I wont hide reality. So many things in life will pull in a million directions. So many things will cause you to become distracted. I know personally, I just had a hard time balancing it all. And when The Lord convicts me, I listen. I hear his still small voice and even when it comes as a phone call in the middle of the night when all you hear is silence and a faint breath of your precious daughter with her life in the balance, you HEAR. You LISTEN. You KNOW. I knew that I needed to get off track from my dreams and fight to build the relationships back again.
The great news is, that it was not too late. I set aside my long working hours from home on the phone or computer and exchanged it for long periods of just being a mother. Just sitting around the living room chatting about anything and everything. Instead of spending hours listening to other’s health issues and knowing how to help them, I started listening to my children tell me their issues. I told each one of them that they matter the most, that they are my purpose and that I want to set aside everything for them. I told them we wont have fancy cars, fancy trips, nor will we have money to all the things we want, but we have what we need from the hand of God.
It worked! Praise the Lord!!! I have my normal homestead, humble, do-it-yourself, children gathered around—life, BACK! And I could not be more filled with joy! Teens need you all the more and now I help them follow their dreams and give them all the time they need pouring into their hearts. Now, when I use the restroom for a moment, I hear the faint words, “Where is mom?” They need me! They need me! Thank you God, they need me again! And I have redeemed the times!
“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Eph 5:15-16
I have learned to live with less and how less is MORE! More is empty. LESS give your mind inventive ideas, so much more creativity. You learn to live with less, you learn to make due and be content and these are virtues I would never want to lay aside, not for all the money in the world. I wanted to change the world, make it better, help the sick and those in need. In the process, I looked for the approval of man, the respect, and the vanity of success. Even in the best of intentions, the heart that wants to help and heal, it can all distract us from our purpose, our divine calling.
“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Mark 8:36
At the end of the day, I have what most people in this Earth want right in front of me. I have peace, joy, love, and fellowship with my family which is sweeter than anything. My oldest son is on the precipice of adulthood. How did it happen this fast? Time slipped by fast and it seems like yesterday he was a tiny blond, curly-headed toddler telling me about the turkeys in the barnyard on our very first homestead.
The funny thing is that I told myself I still will help others, minister to others in need as the Lord allows. I never want to be selfish with what I know helped me get my health back, so when someone asks, I tell them what I did. People still need to know. It is humbling to know that you might have a solution to another precious person’s health puzzle. And you know what?….That is the beauty of ministering to others. When someone comes to you with whatever issue whether it be of marriage, sorrow, grief, pain, poverty, or poor health, we are called to do what we can and lend a hand by the grace and mercy of God. We can comfort those with the same comfort we have received of God and it is all good, without interfering at all with the organic family purpose we have. I am content. I am free in all the ways that matter the most.
“Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Cor 1:4
I am excited for the adventure that is yet before me with finishing my calling of raising these 5 children for the Lord!
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” Ecc 3:1
AND now let me share with you my Mother's Day Blessing!!!
Hope you all had a beautiful and wonderfully blessed Mothers day!